Why I Made a Star Chart as a Grown Woman

Sep 13

From the outside, I may look like I’ve got it all together. I run a ministry, write books, teach Bible studies, and keep multiple projects moving at once. But behind the scenes? I often forget the simplest daily things—like brushing my teeth, taking my medicine, or remembering to shower.

That’s the reality of living with ADHD. While hyperfocus lets me crush big projects, the basics can easily slip through the cracks. And that can feel frustrating—or even shameful—if I’m not careful.

Recently, I decided to make myself a star chart. Yep, the same kind you’d expect to see in a kindergarten classroom. Every time I complete a basic daily task, I get to put a little star in its spot. Sounds childish? Maybe. But here’s the thing: it works.

The chart gives me a visual reminder of what I’ve done, a small dopamine hit each time I put a star down, and a sense of accomplishment. It’s the same feeling I get from finishing a blog post or teaching a study—just applied to the simple things I often overlook.

Why I’m Sharing This

I want to take the shame out of using tools like this. If a star chart helps me live more consistently and take care of myself, that doesn’t make me childish—it makes me wise. And if you need permission to use whatever works for you, here it is.

ADHD Hacks That Help Me Function

Over time, I’ve learned a few other strategies that keep me going in a world that often feels boring and overwhelming:

Playlists as timers
Instead of setting a stopwatch, I’ll play music and commit to working for 5 songs. When the songs are over, I switch tasks. Sometimes I use hype music to push me through cleaning, other times I’ll listen to a podcast or audiobook. Music keeps me regulated and makes the mundane doable.
Reward system
At the end of completing a task, I often give myself a small reward—like chocolate. It sounds simple, but it motivates me to push through the boring stuff.
Visible cues everywhere
Out of sight = out of mind. I keep medicine where I’ll see it, leave post-its on mirrors, and set multiple alarms (because let’s be honest, I’ll snooze the “take your medicine” one at least twice before actually doing it).
Layered reminders for appointments
Google Calendar, a notebook I carry, and a big wall calendar at my desk. Writing things down helps me remember, and the triple-layer system keeps important dates from slipping through the cracks. And while I don’t always put appointments on all three layers, I’m bound to use at least one of them—and seeing it in one place helps remind me to check the others.

You’re Not Alone

If you need charts, alarms, post-its, or chocolate to get through the day, you’re not failing—you’re human. You’re beautifully wired in a unique way, and it’s okay to lean on tools that help you thrive.

The truth is, I don’t have it all together. I just build systems that work for my brain, and I keep showing up anyway. It’s a daily struggle for me, but over the years I’ve learned to work with my neurodivergence rather than against it—and now I seek to help others do the same.

It’s not about forcing ourselves to fit the status quo. It’s about revising the terms, creating tools that meet our needs, and preparing ourselves for success in the ways that actually work.

Scripture Reflection

“For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” — Philippians 4:13 (NLT)
“Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.” — Psalm 139:14 (NLT)
“Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part.” — 1 Corinthians 12:14 (NLT)