Week 5: Breaking Ties That Bind
Before we can get into healing the wounds that you carry, there is preparation you must do in order to be effective. This is called being strategic. That’s why we started this study with YOUR IDENTITY, aligning it with what GOD says you are, not with what the world says you are. Next, we tackled SHIFTING YOUR PARADIGMS so we could rewire your mind and align it with God’s will. We also discussed REPENTENCE, which involved ridding yourself of anything that bound you to that OLD SELF. Tonight, we are going to dig into BREAKING TIES THAT BIND... addressing the power of your words, breaking away from negative speech, and unhealthy attachments, and other things that can hold us back from walking fully into the freedom and healing that God has for us.
The Power of CHOICE
In life, we face two main choices: either accept things as they are or take responsibility to change them. The decisions we make shape the world we live in. This reality is both challenging and freeing. On one side, it reminds us that we cannot simply blame others for our situations—our circumstances are often a combination of external factors, people’s actions, and our own choices. On the other side, it’s liberating because if we don’t like the way we perceive our reality, we can shift our mindset and refuse to remain victims of our circumstances.
When we blame others for where we are, we give away our power. Sadly, society encourages this mindset. Our very language reflects it—we say things like, “You bore me” or “You make me sick,” which hand control of our emotions to others. Yet Scripture tells us, “You will also declare a thing, and it will be established for you” (Job 22:28). The words we speak often become self-fulfilling prophecies. Change your words and thoughts, and your life will change. Transformation begins in the mind.
Romans 12:2 AMP urges us: And do not be conformed to this world [any longer with its superficial values and customs], but be [a]transformed and progressively changed [as you mature spiritually] by the renewing of your mind [focusing on godly values and ethical attitudes], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His plan and purpose for you].”
Likewise, Philippians 2:5 says, “Have this same attitude in yourselves which was in Christ Jesus [look to Him as your example in selfless humility]”
Far too often, those who hurt or offend us occupy our thoughts. But we have the power to rewire our minds and retrain our thinking. What you focus on affects every part of your being. Filling your mind with God’s Word is the surest way to find freedom and embrace His truth about who you are and His plans for your life.
The Healing Power of Forgiveness
Many people remain trapped in torment because they replay their painful past instead of releasing it. Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts we can give—not only to others but also to ourselves, our families, and even our communities. Forgiveness heals, while unforgiveness breeds bitterness and resentment. Ann Landers once said, “Hate, like acid, does more damage to the vessel in which it is stored than to the object on which it is poured.” In the same way, forgiveness neutralizes that poison and allows us to become whole.
Forgiving and forgetting doesn’t mean pretending the offense never happened. It means you refuse to let it control your present or sabotage your future. It’s granting yourself permission to rewrite your story and live out a new script shaped by God’s truth.
The Word of God provides the foundation for these new paradigms. Philippians 4:8–9 reminds us: “Finally, [a]believers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right and confirmed by God’s word, whatever is pure and wholesome, whatever is lovely and brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good repute; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think continually on these things [center your mind on them, and implant them in your heart]. 9 The things which you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things [in daily life], and the God [who is the source] of peace and well-being will be with you.”
When you shift your mindset, change your words, and choose forgiveness, you open the door to transformation, healing, and lasting peace.
Reflection & Discussion Questions
In what areas of life have I been blaming others instead of taking responsibility?
How does my language reflect victim-thinking versus empowered thinking?
What thoughts from my past do I need to rewire with God’s truth?
Who do I need to forgive so I can release bitterness and walk in freedom?
What new paradigms can I build by practicing Philippians 4:8–9?
Mastery of Life Begins With Mastery of Thoughts
True mastery in life starts with mastering your thoughts. This requires self-discipline, because if you cannot control what you think, you cannot control what you do—or who you become. Philippians 4:8–9 reminds us to fix our minds on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable.
You do not have to be a product of your environment or a prisoner of your circumstances. Self-discipline gives you the ability to govern your thoughts, which in turn shapes your destiny. If you want to change your life, keep perspective. Keep the main thing the main thing. Refuse to play the blame game. Take responsibility for your own thoughts, feelings, and actions. Learn to apologize, and don’t take out your anger or frustrations on those you love. Your spouse, children, friends, parents, or coworkers are not your enemy—they do not deserve to carry the weight of your pain.
Instead of lashing out or trying to fix people, let the Word of God do the work within you. Joshua 1:8 instructs us to meditate on God’s Word day and night, so that we may live in alignment with His will, prosper, and experience good success. Whatever you face, God is with you. He will never leave or forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6). Even when tears fall, He promises to wipe them away (Isaiah 25:8; Revelation 21:4).
Deuteronomy 31:6 AMP - “Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble in dread before them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not fail you or abandon you.”
Isaiah 25:8 AMP - “He will swallow up death [and abolish it] for all time.
And the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces,
And He will take away the disgrace of His people from all the earth;
For the Lord has spoken.”
Revelation 21:4 AMP - “and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be death; there will no longer be sorrow and anguish, or crying, or pain; for the [a]former order of things has passed away.”
You may have been handed difficult circumstances from the start of life, but that does not have to define your ending. In Christ, you have been set free—freedom you must actively embrace. Christianity is not just a religion; it is the very life of God flowing within you. This life transforms you from the inside out. When you are born again, your spirit is instantly renewed in the image of God, but your mind—your soul, which includes your thoughts, will, and emotions—must undergo continual renewal.
Spiritual growth is measured by how much your soul is transformed by the Word of God. James 1:22–23 exhorts us to receive the implanted Word, which has the power to save our souls. Your spirit, if you are born again, is already alive with God’s nature and the indwelling Holy Spirit. What often hinders believers is a soul that still thinks and acts like the world instead of aligning with God’s truth. Since your soul directs your actions, renewing your mind is essential.
James 1:22-23 AMP - “But prove yourselves doers of the word [actively and continually obeying God’s precepts], and not merely listeners [who hear the word but fail to internalize its meaning], deluding yourselves [by unsound reasoning contrary to the truth]. For if anyone only listens to the word [a]without obeying it, he is like a man who looks very carefully at his natural face in a mirror”
Ephesians 4:24 tells us to “put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” That means bringing your soul and body into agreement with your spirit, which already reflects God’s nature. Transformation happens as you continually submit your mind, will, and emotions to God’s Word.
Ephesians 4:24 - “and put on the new self [the regenerated and renewed nature], created in God’s image, [godlike] in the righteousness and holiness of the truth [living in a way that expresses to God your gratitude for your salvation].”
Who you are today is shaped by yesterday’s decisions, and those decisions are influenced by what psychologists call the eight core human drives:
The drive to bond
The drive to be known
The drive to know
The drive to grow
The drive to acquire
The drive to accomplish
The drive for significance
The drive for safety
Understanding these drives is key to understanding your behavior. These drives are not wrong—they are God-given appetites—but when pursued outside of Christ, they often lead to unhealthy habits, addictions, or destructive attachments. Like the prodigal son, when we attempt to satisfy these drives in illegitimate ways or connect ourselves to the wrong people, we end up devalued, broken, and lost.
The Bible warns us about attaching ourselves to the wrong goals (2 Corinthians 6:14–18). Attachments, whether healthy or harmful, shape our daily decisions and reinforce the mental models through which we view life.
2 Corinthians 6:14–18 AMP - “Do not be unequally bound together with unbelievers [do not make mismatched alliances with them, inconsistent with your faith]. For what partnership can righteousness have with lawlessness? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15 What harmony can there be between Christ and Belial (Satan)? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said:
“I will dwell among them and walk among them;
And I will be their God, and they shall be My people.
“So come out from among unbelievers and be separate,” says the Lord,
“And do not touch what is unclean;
And I will graciously receive you and welcome you [with favor],
And I will be a Father to you,
And you will be My sons and daughters,”
Says the Lord Almighty.”
Transformation requires more than fighting old realities—it requires embracing new paradigms. As Henry Ford once illustrated, true innovation doesn’t come from improving the old (a faster horse) but from introducing something new (the automobile). Hebrews 8:13 calls this the “law of displacement”—the old fades away when the new is established.
Hebrews 8:13 AMP - “When God speaks of “A new covenant,” He makes the first one obsolete. And whatever is becoming obsolete (out of use, annulled) and growing old is ready to disappear.”
If you want change, you must embrace new habits, new attachments, and new mindsets. Refuse to repeat the same patterns expecting a different result. Do the same, remain the same. Do different, live different.
Ask yourself: Could things be the way they are because I am the way I am? If so, what one change can I make today that could shift everything? Start by renewing your thoughts, reordering your attachments, and embracing God’s Word. In doing so, you open the door for transformation—spirit, soul, and body.
Breaking Unhealthy Attachments and Building Life-Giving Connections
The connections you form in life are powerful. We were created to bond, but when those bonds are tied to toxic, abusive, or sabotaging relationships, they undermine our purpose, progress, dignity, and self-worth. When it feels impossible to leave such relationships, it’s often because of soul ties—deep spiritual, emotional, and psychological attachments that influence decisions at a subconscious level.
Soul ties are most often formed through close relationships, vows, commitments, or words we’ve spoken. They can trap us in destructive cycles, poisoning the spirit and creating emotional toxicity. Time, distance, distraction, or even death do not automatically sever them. Unhealthy ties drain life, distort perspective, and keep people bound.
The less you associate with negative influences, the healthier and stronger your life will become. Mediocrity is contagious. Negative people don’t add to your life—they only make withdrawals. Some friends will resist growth and want you to remain where they are. They won’t help you climb; they’ll pull you down to crawl with them. Friends either expand your vision or suffocate your dreams.
Proverbs 27:19 reminds us: “A mirror reflects a man’s face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses.” Wise people fortify their lives with the right friendships. If you run with wolves, you’ll learn to howl. If you soar with eagles, you’ll rise to new heights.
So examine your relationships:
What value does this person bring into my life?
Does this relationship encourage my growth?
Can I add value to them, and can they add value to me?
Healthy relationships are mutually beneficial. Rid yourself of leeches and parasites—people who constantly drain but never contribute.
The Power of Words in Creating Ties
Soul ties aren’t only formed through relationships; they can also be created through words. Statements like “This makes me sick,” “This is to die for,” or “Over my dead body” may seem harmless, but words carry spiritual weight. They set invisible tracks, shaping outcomes and drawing experiences toward you like a magnet. Words create frequencies in the spirit that attract either blessings or bondage.
Ask yourself:
How often this week did I rehearse my pain?
How often did I speak about how badly I’ve been hurt?
Do I dwell on past wounds so much that they anchor my future?
If so, your life may feel like it’s controlled by invisible strings. But you don’t have to remain a victim. Change begins when you decide you’ve had enough—when you take responsibility for your perspective, your emotions, and your response to others.
Choosing Change
You can break the ties that bind when you:
Grow tired of repeating the same cycles.
Accept responsibility for your emotions and choices.
Take the risk of thinking and acting in new ways.
Allow God to reshape how you see yourself and others.
If you feel broken beyond repair, know this: with God’s help, you can gather the pieces of your life and allow Him to form a new pattern—better and stronger than before.
True transformation begins in the mind. Romans 12:2 teaches that by renewing your mind, your life will be transformed. Change the way you think about your past, your pain, and even those who hurt you. Refuse to believe anything that contradicts God’s Word.
When you choose to change your thoughts, you change your life. You can break bad habits, sever toxic ties, and walk into the bright, prosperous future that God has designed for you.
Reflection & Discussion Questions
What unhealthy attachments in my life need to be broken?
Which relationships are draining me instead of building me?
How have my words tied me to pain, fear, or limitation?
What new words and declarations can I begin to speak in alignment with God’s truth?
What step can I take this week to break free from toxic ties and build healthier ones?
⚔ SEE THE ATTACHED BREAKING TIES BATTLE PLAN which gives you a complete strategic plan to: identify → renounce → replace → renew → maintain.
Spiritual Warfare Prayer
Heavenly Father,
In the mighty name of Jesus Christ, I come boldly before Your throne of grace. I thank You for the truth of Your Word that has gone forth today. Lord, Your Word is a sword, sharper than any two-edged blade, able to pierce and cut away every lie, every bondage, and every chain that has tried to keep me bound.
Right now, I take authority in the name of Jesus over every toxic attachment, every ungodly soul tie, and every destructive cycle in my life. I break them off by the blood of Jesus Christ. I declare that no weapon formed against me shall prosper, and every tongue that rises against me in judgment I condemn. This is my heritage as a servant of the Lord!
I cancel every negative word I have ever spoken over myself or that others have spoken over me. I nullify their power right now in the name of Jesus. I release the Word of God into my life, declaring that I am more than a conqueror through Christ, that I have the mind of Christ, and that I walk in victory.
Father, I forgive every person who has hurt me, abandoned me, abused me, or betrayed me. I release them into Your hands, and I refuse to let bitterness poison my soul. By the power of forgiveness, I am free. By the power of the blood, I am whole.
Lord, I ask You to renew my mind daily. Transform my thoughts, align my emotions, and conform my will to Yours. Let the meditation of my heart and the words of my mouth be pleasing in Your sight. Guard my tongue so that I speak life and not death.
I decree that from this day forward, my relationships will be healthy, fruitful, and God-ordained. Remove every counterfeit connection and replace it with divine alignments. Surround me with people who sharpen me, strengthen me, and push me into my purpose.
Holy Spirit, fill every empty place. Fortify me with Your peace, Your wisdom, and Your joy. Clothe me with the full armor of God so that I may stand firm against every scheme of the enemy.
I declare today: I am free, I am healed, I am restored, and I am walking into the destiny that God has prepared for me. No chain, no lie, no curse, and no stronghold can stop me, for greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world.
In the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the risen Lord and King, I seal this prayer.
Amen and Amen.